Damned irony

The more you study, the more... Just a lie. Everytime I do something correctly, the wretched fate drives me to a failure. When I do it wrong, I succeed. That's why I still don't know the reason which makes me keep trying to do everything well. But the fact is that when I get what I wanted by taking the wrong path, I think I don't deserve it, in the end. So, what can I do? Right or wrong? If experience has told me to make everything badly if I want a success, but that will make me feel upset, and has told me too that I will fail if I do it the way it has to be done...

I don't really know what to do. Maybe I should keep doing things the way I think I have to, although that way doesn't always match up with the way that other people want me to do it. Yes, I think I have to follow my feelings. I guess that is the only way to have a clear conscience...

P.S.: I'm sorry about my English... but I'm already a learner. And I think I will be all my life... 'cause you never stop learning.